Dumbass Pays A Shitload For Cereal

Two Virginia sisters are living the highlife as some dumb motherfucker paid them close to $1400 for a corn flake shaped as Illinois.

The dumbass, who isn't even from Illinois, shelled out the money via an ebay auction.

"I really enjoy corn flakes, and the state of Illinois," the dumbass said at a press conference.

The two sisters, one way hotter than the other, were both ecstatic and surprised by the success of their ebay auction.

"We were just fucking around," the hot one said. "We really didn't think there was anybody fucking stupid enough to buy it. Luckily this dipshit exists though. What a fucko."

Since the sale of the corn flake, ebay has been flooded with coat-tail riding douche bags trying to sell state shaped food items, ranging anywhere from edible condoms shaped as florida to brussel sprouts shaped like Reno, Nevada. The most plentiful and popular item being McDonald's chicken nuggets shaped as Ohio, Indiana and Illinois going for upwards of $7,000 a piece.

"I'm gonna buy a pony!" the non-hot sister said, not realizing that ponies cost way more than her share of the $1400. Sucks for her the parents gave her sister the looks and the brains. This chick's fucked.

Lucky for the dumb motherfucker who bought the $1400 Illinois shaped corn flake, it is also a part of his perfectly balanced breakfast.