Jamie is a senior in high school. She's kind of a goodie two shoes. She's even on student council!! But her friends were thrown for a loop when she started dating the school bad boy, Ryan.
They're about to get thrown for another loop, cause she's fucking pregnant!!
Their relationship was rocky at first, but lately Jamie and Ryan have been getting along better. In her words, they're "like two parrots." I don't even think she knows what the fuck that means.
As was already stated, Ryan was the school bad boy. He's the kind of kid that has a moustache in high school. He's 17, has already had a handful of speeding tickets and a DUI. Needless to say, he no longer has a license.
Jamie lives with her single mom. Her dad didn't love her and left when she was young, leaving her mom to raise her and her sister. Her mom wasn't happy about her getting pregnant, and was convinced she wouldn't end up having it.
But guess what, mom? She fucking is.
Ryan talks about wanting to be responsible, but yet he's missed three straight doctor's appointments! He claims he's been having to see his lawyer since he has a court date coming up, but I don't trust him. Methinks he's up to something.
Despite him not loving her, Jamie's father is still kind of in the picture. When he found out she was pregnant, he sent her a MySpace message asking her not to have the baby. Then hasn't talked to her since.
Until she calls him and they meet up in the park. Know in movies when there's that character that was cool shit in high school, then you flash forward 20 years and he's trying to be the same guy except he's 20 years past his prime. This is her dad. I'm assuming he mentions high school football before the end of the episode.
Jamie goes off to the fair with her friends and eats fair food and watches her friends ride rides. Seriously, nothing is happening this episode, and this event was the one most worthy of mentioning.
Even though her dad told her when they met in the park that he wanted to be a part of the baby's life, he completely no showed for her baby shower.
Then Jamie asks her mom if Ryan can move in. The mom does not dig this idea. She says he can stay sometimes, but he has to stay in the baby room, and not up in Jamie's room fucking her. Then he mentions something about taking the baby occasionally, and the mom tells him that's not gonna happen. He disagrees.
How can you follow up the most intense episode of this show with this boring ass episode. I have a feeling last week's won't be topped this season.
Ryan missed his fourth straight doctor's appointment, and hasn't been answering his phone. He's been kind of distant since the disagreement with her mother. Then Jamie starts going into labor!!
He finally shows up five hours into labor. Hungover!! He feeds the worst fucking line ever. "I've been staying up for the last three nights waiting for your call, and the one night I fall asleep, you call." Luckily she didn't buy that. Him wreaking of booze didn't help him sell it.
Jamie starts throwing up during labor. It's pretty gross. Then the nurse talks about using pliers to pull the baby out. So that's what they do. Then the baby comes out with a shit ton of hair. It's a girl. They named her Miah. This was established earlier in the episode, but I didn't mention it.
Once the baby is out and things start calming down, Jamie immediately kicks Ryan out and makes him go home. He wants to stay, but she's super pissed about him showing up hungover. Then her dad shows up which brought a smile to her face.
Two days go by and Ryan doesn't even try to call or anything. Then he just randomly shows up with an overnight bag, expecting to stay the night. Looking hungover as fuck again. He starts crying and doing that annoying fucking stutter talk. He's pissed that he's not allowed to come over, and that they won't let him take her over to his house. The mom walks in, and he keeps doing that damn stutter cry talk. Mom lays down the law and really lays into him. So he leaves. Still crying.
He refuses to come to the house because he's all scared of her mom, who has the stupidest spelled name ever (Aprille). He keeps calling and begging to take the baby by himself to his mom's, even though she's only one week old. He somehow gets his license back, and insists that Jamie and Miah come to a costume party at his parents house. And he won't shut the fuck up about the whole thing. He doesn't understand a fucking word she says.
The time comes for Jamie to go back to school. Luckily, her school is filled with whores, so there's a day care in the school. So she loads that baby up on the school bus and her day begins. Then she has to take a break from class to feed that baby.
Then, oh my god. Everybody's looking at her funny, and she finds out by lunch why. Ryan already had a new girlfriend!! And he had been fucking around while she was pregnant!! She decides he won't be seeing Miah any time soon. Or ever.
She meets up with Ryan and tells him that in order for him to see Miah, they're going to have to go through the courts and let them decide what his role in her life should be. He started crying again, but thank god she walked away before he could do the stutter talk again.
Jamie goes on to change her phone number and talk to a lawyer.
Then it ends.
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