Jimmy
Even the inside of a Yeti asshole is warm. I found that out the hard way once on a field trip.
Zane
I love field trips. I wonder where you were going? Probably the science museum. I loooove the science museum. If I had one wish it would be to live in a science museum and be one of the exhibits and to have strange tourists walk up to me everyday and say smart things like "What's this thingy?" and "That astronaut ice cream from the gift shop tastes just like real ice cream!".
Jimmy
It was actually a field trip to the post office. Some jokester tried to mail a yeti. Things got out of hand pretty quickly.
Zane
Oh, alright. I don't know what made me think it was to the science museum. Wishful thinking I suppose. I've been having a lot of wishful thoughts lately. Take today for instance, I was wishing and hoping and thinking of praying for my arm to quit hurting. Is it going to happen? What do I look like, some asshole with his arm in a vise? If you answered yes, you are barking right up my apple tree like a dog with a throat made of whistle candy.
Jimmy
Whoa, that was quite an analogy! You come up with analogies better than...well, a professional analogy maker, I guess. Someone whose job it is to come up with analogies. You know, they went to school, got a degree, and now they make a living coming up with analogies. You made a good analogy, is alls I'm saying.
Zane
Spit it out already! Quit dancing around what your trying to say like a crazy drug addict dances when he's/she's out of his/her favorite drugs. Speaking of drug addicts dancing, have you ever gotten addicted to drugs?
Jimmy
The only drug i'm addicted to is Jesus. Jesus is the street name of a new form of meth that just came out.
Zane
Sounds like something them Christians would come up with. Always pushing Jesus this and Jesus that on everyone. Did you know that Christianity is the only religion that encourages people to become addicted to meth? I'm not sure if that's really true or not, I heard it on the radio once.
Jimmy
Yeah I think I remember hearing something about that in Sunday school. Like, wine is supposed to be the blood of Christ, and meth is his magical pixie dust.
Zane
You might be getting confused between going to Sunday school and visiting your drug dealers house. I can see how you'd get them confused. Both involve visiting a creepy building that's filled with whack-o's and in both places some nut-job is trying to convince you to put shit in your brain that doesn't belong there.
Jimmy
Well the important thing is, no matter which one I go to, I always walk away with an important life lesson.
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