Dear dogs and hamsters,
You're all starting to get on my nerves. Especially you dogs. You fucking things. Why do you piss and shit on the floor? How do you know where I'm going to step and put your shit or puddle of piss right there? Are you mother fucking physics? Why do you insist on making a bunch of noise in the middle of the night? It hurts my feeling to have to yell at you and raise my hand like I'm going to smack the shit out of you. You always look scared when I do it but two seconds later your wagging your tail like you want me to play with you. If someone had just threatened me with violence then I wouldn't want to play with them.
And you family of hamsters. You are some weirdos. I'm pretty sure you've been eating each other. That makes you some real sick fuck-o's in my book. Not only that but I know you've been trying to escape from your cage. Is it really that bad in your cage? I always make sure there's water and food and clean bedding and every now and then I'll throw some other random shit in there for you to chew on. So what the fuck?
My wife hates you all too and that's really the worst part. You're causing me trouble with my family. I've put up with your shit for awhile now because my son liked to poke at you but now I don't think he'd even notice you being gone. There's nothing saving your silly asses anymore so shape the fuck up.
Love,
Zane
Read more!
