Coked Up Movie Pitch: Suckers

(this is an example of a movie pitch I would give if I just got completely coked up instead of preparing anything)

The pitch: Suckers

So here's the deal. There's two families, right? Hundreds of years ago they open up a candy factory together. After a lot of years of working together, one of the families drops out of the business and disappears. They're still owners, they're just not involved. They just disappeared to keep a big family secret from being revealed. That secret? Get this, they're vampires!! Oh my god, I know, right!!

Fast forward a few hundred years, and the last surviving member of the non-vampire family has passed away. Somebody finds the vampire family to tell them that they are now sole owners of the candy factory. So they take over. They get all up in that factory and are raking in all the money because they're the only owners. It's fucking rad for them.

But then, hold on, get this. It turns out, there's a brother and sister that are technically members of the other family. They were bastard children of one of the outcast brothers, so nobody knew they existed. Their mom just died, and they're kinda fucked in life, ya know? So they come hunting for their dad, only to find out he and his entire lineage are dead. But they also find out they should be heirs to this giant candy empire!! Awesome for them, right?

Not right!! The vampire family have gotten used to being the only owners, and they wanna keep it that way. The older vampire brother is an asshole. He wants to go kill the brother and sister to solve all the problems, ya know? But the younger brother doesn't want him too, cause they're trying to survive quietly without ever revealing they're secret. Then, get this. This is where shit gets insane, cause you'll never see this coming. But the younger vampire brother, the non-dickhead one, he falls in love with the sister from the other family? I know, right? Holy shit. We just got Romeo & Juliet in this bitch.

So, they fall in love. The dickhead brother still wants to kill them. The sister's brother discovers that the other family is vampires and rounds up a posse to kill them all. This is where shit gets crazy, man. Then it just escalates before an epic fucking ending. It'd be so insane.

It'd be awesome too, cause I can see the poster now. Black. A red sucker, big and in the center. Then it just says "Suckers" across it. But get this, the bottom of the "k" form fangs and there's blood dripping down from them. How fucking awesome would that be?

We have a giant fucking hit here. I accept cash.