Science Concludes: Dogs Playing Poker is Impossible

Woburn, MA - Scientists have concluded that the famous painting

featuring dog's playing poker could never happen. "After months of

testing [we] now know it is just physically impossible. The dogs

did not seem to want to participate or understand when it's

acceptable to check and then raise". This all come much to the

dismay of local resident Jack Vickers who

recently purchased a website named "Real Dogs Playing Poker" in

hopes of live streaming tournaments featuring live dogs playing

poker. "Well, I'm fucking fucked" said Jack. This news did not

surprise everyone. Hope Chalmbers has been trying to teach her

dipshit husband and his five idiot friends to play poker for the

last four year. "They just don't get it. Raising, betting, calling,

they don't understand the concept and I think these guys are a

little smarter than dogs."