Two Friends Talking w/Jimmy and Zane

Zane
Well, I made it back to that one place one the other side of the world. This place is just as sucky as ever. Maybe even a little suckier. I just found out that my new neighbors are a couple of goddamn bleeding heart democrats. Man-O-man, what's a man to do?
So, what's your favorite beverage to have with breakfast?

Jimmy
Pancake batter is my fav breakfast beverage. It combines food and liquid in one convenient form.

Zane
Never tried it. I'll have to order that the next time I'm at the Breakfast Shack. That's this quaint little breakfast hole over hear in Korea. They'll serve you anything you want. Once I accidentally said I wanted some "shit" on my salad and wouldn't you know what they put on there? You guessed it, pee.

Jimmy
That's a language barrier problem. I went to France for lunch today and ordered some French toast. The waiter misunderstood me and nailed my wife. Then he untied my shoe.

Zane
That sucks. Thanks for the invite by the way (sarcasm). I would have hated going to France with you for breakfast (more sarcasm). As a matter of fact, France can I aren't even talking anymore (truth. I overheard France say that I was "full of it" one time and I've never forgiven France.)

Jimmy
France needs to understand that words can hurt. Ripping out a handful of pubic hair hurts too.

Zane
That sure does and I probably know better than most. They used to call me Mr. Pubies down at the local skinny dipping pond. Yep, that is until this handsie old gal named Sally "Iron Grip" McKinny got a hold of my bush. For some reason or another she just went to town with the pulling and the ripping and the terrible pain to my pelvic region.
It'll be a long time before someone mentions pulling out a handful of pubic hair to me and that story doesn't come to mind.

Jimmy
I've thought long and hard about how to respond to that, and the only thing I can come up with is: octopus scrotum. I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but it's just how I feel.



And here is the rest of it.