Zane
I can only think of one thing worse than that. Bruising your gandreisel gland oppus connection fatty acid molecular compound. That shit sting like a mother!
Jimmy
It's a dangerous world out there. The other day I fell into an open manhole. Now the man's hole I fell into is threatening to sue.
Zane
Fuck this world that's bullshit! If you need a lawyer I know a guy who's brother specializes in open manhole falling incidents. He's good too. He was telling me about this one case where the guy was completely at fault, the manhole had a sign posted and there were cones all around it and the guy (who was high on weed) still fell in. The case went to court and this lawyer ended up getting him a lifetime supply of ice cream sandwiches and $14 worth of coupons! Pretty good deal in my opinion.
Jimmy
Ice cream sandwiches are my favorite kind of sandwiches. I like em with tomato and extra mayo.
Zane
Gross! Ice cream and mayo!? I've never heard of anything that crazy since my aunt Pat said she wanted white roses on her sisters head stone! Am I crazy for thinking we should all pack ten tons of dookie up the nearest dogs asshole? Call me "Mr. Butt Brains" or even "Mr. Brains-a-doodle" if you'd like. But to tell you the true Jimmy, I'm drunk and just typing nonsense.
Zane
Hey, Poop Face. I'm sitting here thinking how silly it would be if twelve tons of shoe strings would have shot out of your neighbors vagina and fucked up yesterdays news broadcast.
Jimmy
That happens more often than people realize. It's a scary world we live in
Zane
I think its smart the way you let everyone know exactly where you are through facebook. If someone wanted to kill you or rob your home you'd really save them a lot of time.
Jimmy
I spend so much time stalking others, I thought it was only fair to give them the chance to stalk me
And here is the rest of it.
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