Two Friends Chatting with Each Other w/Jimmy and Zane

Zane
You're an equal opportunity stalker and that's great. More people should follow your lead on this. Take me for example. I love stealing infants social security numbers and ruining their credit before their even old enough to drive. It's my go to crime. My calling card it you will. Well, it'd only be fair if instead of simply taking their social security numbers I traded social security numbers with them. Sure, the odds of an infant knowing how to steal an identity is slim to none but it still seems like the right thing to do.

Jimmy
That's like when I purposely knock old people over. I help them up when I'm done laughing at them. I'm not some kind of asshole

Zane
Of course you're not. My only question is, before you knock these old people over, do you say anything? For example, "Fuck you!" or "Eat shit grandma!".

Jimmy
I'll usually say something sarcastic like "have a nice trip" or "walk much?" I think deep down they appreciate the humor

Zane
I always liked "What's your favorite season? Fall?"

Jimmy
Once I said "hey, winters a' comin". I think that just confused both if us.

Zane
Maybe if you were wearing a leather jacket and eating a hot dog it wouldn't have been so confusing.

Jimmy
Yeah but where am I gonna get a hot dog this time of night?

Zane
If you were in Hotlanta then you could get one anywhere. What do you think the "hot" in Hotlanta stands for? I'll give you a hint, it's not hot girls in rap videos butts. (it's hot dogs)

Jimmy
Hmm that makes sense. I never thought of that. Never was much for thinking. They used to call me joe no brains McGee. That was back before I legally changed my name from joe no brains McGee to jimmy cole.

Zane
Talk about not thinking, I used to have a prison pen pal named joe no brains McGee. In our last correspondence Joe No Brains (that's what I called him for short) simply said "I'm getting out on a technicality and I'm changing my name. I can't tell you what I'm changing it to but my new initials will be J.C." I just assumed he opened up a chain of now struggling retail stores but after you told me that they used to call you joe no brains McGee it got me thinking, do you know joe? If so, how's he doing?

Jimmy
I know him. He and I have become one. I don't mean that in a weird way, I mean sexually

And here is the rest of it.