Two Friends with Wood Chatting w/Jimmy and Zane

Zane
Nice. Next time you're sexing him up, tell him I said "Howdy Do Buck-A-Roo!" He'll know what I mean

Jimmy
I told him. He said to tell you "zippidy doo dah, mother humper!"

Zane
That crazy S.O.B. hasn't changed a bit! Was half of his nose still missing? He's been looking for it forever.

Jimmy
I've got the half of his nose. Son of a bitch will get it back when he pays me back the money I loaned him to get circumcised .

Zane
Fair enough. I heard the circumcision went poorly though. Instead of cutting his foreskin they cut his back-skin. Now his butt hole is two inches deeper.

Jimmy
That's why they need a stricter screening process for circucisers.

Zane
Agreed. Call me crazy but I don't think anyone diagnosed with Chopingston Disease (the disease that makes you want to chop a dick off) needs to be performing circumcisions.

Jimmy
Whenever I see one of those people coming at me with a scalpel and a crazy look in their eye, I have to say "no"! I feel bad, but at some point you have to put your foot down.

Zane
I usually just let them do it. I know I shouldn't but 'what the hay', it's not like I only have one dick that'll never grow back if it gets cut off, right? I've never counted them but I figure I have literally thousands of dicks growing out of the top of my head alone. Sure I'm not growing them as fast I used to but they'res still plenty of dicks to go around. Isn't it weird how some guys have a lot of dicks growing on their chest and some guys don't have any? I even have dicks growing out of my ears now-a-days!

Jimmy
It's funny, guys with lots of dicks wished they had less, guys with only one with they had more. It's like the old saying "the grass is always greener depending on your dick situations"

Zane
Yeppers, yep, and yep-a-reeno! I over heard a couple of old coots talking about when they used to eat dicks for breakfast the other day when I was crawling around the yard looking for some kids that I accidentally shrunk with my experimental shrink ray. Little fuckers nearly got eaten by a scorpion don't you know! Luckily I found them in time and shrank myself down to scorpion size and punched that son of a bitch right in his thorax. Everyone keeps asking my why I shrank myself down and I keep telling them it because I never grew a brain!

And here is the rest of it.