Two Friends With Immature Senses of Humor w/Jimmy and Zane

Jimmy
I wanted to invite you but word on the net (what the youngster call the internet) is that when you attend a tea party, you don't stick out your pinky while sipping tea. I'm a classy motherfucker and I can't have non classy people fucking up my classy ass.

Zane
Well fortunately for me the word on the NET was CORRECT! And there's not a damn THING that could make the truth more RING! Oh fuck, it's happening again...I'm speaking in rhyme...must fight...this is not right...not tonight..... Whoa! I think it passed. That was a close one. Happens every time I'm not invited to tea party.

Jimmy
Whoa just take it easy there. You can come to the tea party, just settle down with the rhyme talk.

Zane
Thanks. You've made a lot of people happy today. Not by inviting me to that imaginary tea party. That would be silly. You've made all those people happy because you used the "Phrase That Pays!" Every time someone says "down with the rhyme talk" a whole football field of people get a $5 coupon redeemable at any Token Savers arcade! Way to go pal!

Jimmy
Thanks! I'm gonna go off topic here for a bit. Last night I was abducted by the Martians. Again. They anal probed the stuffing out of me! I know this isn't your problem, but it just feels good to talk to someone about it.

Zane
Yep, them Martians'll do that to you. I got so sick and tired of having my stuffing crammed tight that I went to sewing my butt hole closed. That worked for all of two seconds. Guess who's really good at
un-stitching butt holes? You guessed it, Martians.

...still Zane
Was my last comment not good enough for a reply? What's the deal? I thought we had a thing going here. Fine with me. Since I haven't had to send you a message in a couple days, I've had literally dozens of extra seconds to share and I've been putting them to good use. Yesterday after threw something in the trash I double checked to see if it was getting too full. Who knows what I'll accomplish tomorrow if I get that sort of time to do whatever.

Jimmy
Sorry. I was abducted again. All their advanced alien technology and they don't have internet. Not even dial up.

Zane
At least you're okay. I had this crazy thought that maybe you were given a pet boa constrictor for your birthday and that boa constrictor just happened to be one of them mutant boa constrictors that could talk and tap dance and it convinced you to convert to a radical Islamic religion and you moved to Rochester.

Jimmy
No that didn't happen thank goodness. I really dodged a bullet there. Seriously I'm being shot at. If you could call 911 when you get this message, I'd really appreciate it.

And here is the rest of it.