Two Friends Talking About Diarrhea and Jock Straps and Polio w/Jimmy and Zane

Jimmy
Work to the wise; don't twerk if you have diarrhea. It doesn't end well for anyone.
Word to the wise, that is

Zane
Good point. I'm putting that on my "things not to do if you have diarrhea" list. So far, I have "don't jump on a trampoline" and "don't wear ass-less chaps". The last one is best to avoid altogether but especially if you have the runs. Speaking of ass-less garments, what's with the two little ass straps in the back of a jock strap? Why not just cover the entire ass?

Jimmy
I know! I'm walking around like a fool with my ass completely vulnerable to attack. If someone's gonna attack you, there's a good chance they're gonna do it from behind you. And you know what's back there? You're ass! It pisses me off so fucking bad!

Zane
Oh yeah, there's a lot of people out there who'd attack any ass they find unguarded. I just rented a documentary style movie about this very topic called Ass Assassins. I figure it'll give some good pointers on how to avoid these types of attacks. If there's anything in there of note I'll pass it on...We'll I just finished the movie. Great movie by the way. It's a porno.

Jimmy
I enjoy a good porno from time to time. I especially like the kissing and the hugging. Makes me a little warm just thinking about it.

Zane
I personally think there's way too much sex in porno's. It's all
wham, slam, cram, and Whoa! close-up of a gaping butt hole. Where's the romance, the buying of flowers, the swift kick to the side of the head just to get a quick peek at an ankle? That's the porno movie I want to see.

Jimmy
Porn is a bad influence to impressionable youngsters. I saw my fist porn when I was 14, so when I had my first date, of course I thought it was supposed to be like a porno. So, I go to the young lady's house to pick her up, he mom and dad are there so I'm thinking, "this is the part where the group sex breaks out". Turns out that's not proper first date etiquette. Live and learn I guess.

Zane
I'm going to assume you meant "her mom and dad" not "he mom and dad". Fuck, what do I know? Maybe you meant "his mom and dad" or maybe you wanted to write "her aunt and uncle". For fucks sake it doesn't matter. All we care about is the fact that the first porno you ever watched was some weird group sex thing that involved adults and children.

Jimmy
I actually meant to say he/she, cause my girlfriend was a hermaphrodite. Sorry for the confusion.

Zane
No need to apologize, I get it. Speaking of getting "it", did you ever get vaccinated for polio?

Jimmy
No I'm not falling for that scam. "Polio" is just a college boy way of saying cooties.

And here is the rest of it.