Zane
Oh boy, that's what I was afraid of. Jimmy I have some bad news for you pal, you have cooties. I was going to try and make you feel better by telling you that you have polio but it's no use. On the bright side though, you'll never have to worry about catching cooties from that smelly kid on the playground ever again.
Jimmy
The smelly kid left me for some whore supermodel. I don't care, it's his loss. God I miss him
Zane
Was it a crack whore supermodel or simple one of them plain Jane, run-of-the-mill, everyday, who cares, forget-about-it supermodels?
Jimmy
I may have misspoke when I called her a whore. I was speaking out of anger. She's more of a harlot.
Zane
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't a harlot a big fat smelly women who refuses to breast feed?
Jimmy
That's her alright. Boy I tell you what, women are more trouble than they're worth. They act like they're into you, but then leave you when a guy with a bigger floppier ding dong comes along.
Zane
I don't think it's the bigger, I think it's the floppier that get's 'em. Every girl I've ever met has told me that. Here's a little trick I learned to make your wang look floppier. When you pull your pants down slap your butt cheeks together over and over again. If you're coughing while doing it that helps too. You're welcome.
Jimmy
Man, that worked like a charm! The only lady around I had to try it out on was my great aunt Gladys, but she seemed to really get a kick out of it. She said it was, "a toe tappin', hand clappin' good time."
Zane
I bet it was a great time. I wish I could have been there with your great aunt Gladys. How old is she now? 100? You must have really put on a show for her too in order for her to give you such a glowing review. I remember once I tried to impress her with how clean the inside of my underwear were by filling it with potato soup and having her eat it. When it was all said and done she simple said it was, "sort of nice." Sort of nice!? I had third degree burns on my ball sac!
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