Zane
That's a very positive way of looking at it. Good job. I don't believe I've complimented you on your ability to look at the positive side of visiting a drug house/house of the Lord Savior Jesus Christ lately. You know what else I haven't done lately? Stick my head in the trash can and bobbed for garbage.
Jimmy
I would get on that if I were you. You don't wanna fall behind on your trash bobbing. Next thing you know, you'll be an old man retired living in a condo on the beach with a drink in your hand, without your head in a trash can like some kind of moron.
Zane
I worry about that very same thing happening to me when I turn into an old man. Wouldn't that be the worst super power of all time, turning into an old man? It's like, you're a perfectly healthy 30-something male, B-bopping your happy ass down the road, eating your curds and way, then out of fucking nowhere a cop turns his pistol on a crowd of innocent tourists! Well?!... What are you going to do!? BAM!!!! You turn into an old man and stand there clutching at your chest because all that excitement has given you a heart attack, that's what. What good was that? No good.
Jimmy
Yes that sounds terrible. Except for the curds and way part. I swear to God, I would suck anything you put in front of me for a bowl of C and W.
Zane
You better be careful who you say that sort of thing around. There's a lot of guys out there who'd give you all the C and W you could ask for just because they thought you'd suck on their dirty socks. Of course there's going to be some pervs who'd want you to suck on their couch cushions, but mostly it's going to be dirty sock guys.
Jimmy
That's true, but..........oh fuck, I just shit my pants. Hang on, I gotta go wipe my ass and change my clothes.
Zane
Sorry to hear about you shitting your pants. I know what an inconvenience that can be. At least you knew the proper steps that needed to be performed once you did shit your pants. Step one, go wipe your ass and THEN go on to step two which is of course, change your clothes. I couldn't even begin to count how many people I see everyday shitting their pants then IMMEDIATELY changing their clothes. I'm all like, are you serious? Where's the wiping!? Get with the program stupid.
Jimmy
I know. There's a serious lack of common courtesy, especially among today's youth. All they care about is their MTV and their Super Nintendo. They have absolutely zero respect for others, all they care about is trying to be cool like the Fonze.
Zane
They get it from that crazy/cool hip-cat Dean Martin and that "Rat Pack" who's always following him around. You know, sometimes I just wish he'd go jump in the lake. I know that sounds harsh but I truly feel he's corrupting our youth with all his twerking and crooning and meth-laced cigarettes. I bet you twenty dollars that Jesus wouldn't approve of that sort of tom-foolery.
And here is the rest of it.
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