Dude Pays Random High School Girl, Still Doesn't Get Laid

A Cincinnati man wished some random high school girl a Happy Easter by surprising her with a $500 tip, and still didn't get to poke that snatch.

The 18-year-old high school senior was selling newspapers at the hospital when a dude in his mid-20's gave her a wad of cash and told her to keep the change.

"At first I thought he just gave me four ones," the girl, who clearly isn't very intelligent, said. "Then I noticed it was far too big for that. Turns out it was $500 in 20 dollar bills. And four ones. So I was kinda right."

Who the fuck can mistake a wad of 29 bills for four bills? This girl clearly isn't good with her hands.

After realizing she had been given the money, the stupid girl went to thank the man, but couldn't find him anywhere. He was clearly offering money for some poking, but the ditzy chick missed the point, so he bailed.

Chances are the money is from a drug deal gone bad, or perhaps from sucking dick for coke. Either way, the dude didn't want it anymore.

The ditzy chick plans to use the money towards a prom dress, shoes and a limo for her upcoming senior prom. Her date will be getting laid.