Zane
Alright, that's great. Thanks for sharing that. I know it can be difficult sometimes for people to discuss Columbus Day but you fought through the hurt and came out on the other side with a pair of "clean jeans" as my great uncle Chester used to say. Uncle Chester was an idiot of course but I think that goes without saying.
Jimmy
I understand, I have an Uncle Chester of my own. Only we call him Uncle Earl because his name's Earl and he's my mom's brother. Anyway, one day ol Uncle Earl flops his ball sack out onto the breakfast nook and says to me, "This do anything for ya?" That was a birthday party I'll never forget.
Zane
You'll never forget? It's a birthday that haunts me to this very day! If you remember it was my head that Uncle Earl grabbed onto to balance himself right before he hiked his nasty leg up on that breakfast nook and whipped his balls out. I remember thinking "this ain't right," but before I could protest your Aunt Earlma grabbed me and put me in a headlock and threatened to "twist my head off" if I went to the police. It was right around that time the police did come in and started shooting the place all to pieces. I took two to the chest and your head was blown clean off. I thought for certain that the cops were going to turn their pistols on Uncle Earl next but instead they all just went to admiring his balls and I overheard one of them say something like "those balls are really doing it for me" and another one say "I'm getting all worked up staring at them there balls." Those cops were NOT doing things by the book and that's why I've always wanted to be a rouge cops who bursts into birthday parties and shoots people.
Jimmy
Oh that was you. I'll be honest with you, I'm a clone. I don't remember every detail about who I was cloned from, just what I'm told or programmed to remember. I hope you can understand my embarrassment and I ask that you please not tell anyone about my cloning situation.
Zane
I'm beginning to think that you've been fucking with me this entire time. I don't believe you're a clone, I don't believe that you're Miss Tuesday, and I certainly don't believe you're name is James (Jimmy) Cole. Who the hell is this and what have you done with my friend Jimmy? I need to speak with him ASAP. I need to tell him about this one time I thought I saw a bunch of kids planning a bank robbery. If you see him before I do, tell him that the kids weren't really planning a bank robbery, they were just fucking around with a pointed stick.
Jimmy
Well, kids will be kids. But then again, what else would they be? Trolley conductors? Cause I'll tell ya right now, I'll be damned if I'm gonna ride on a trolley with some toddler behind the wheel. Little bastard has to sit in a booster seat cause he can't see over the trolley dashboard. And you just know he's not concentrating on steering the darned thing. No sir, all he's thinking about is a shiny new rattle, or, I dunno, Shrinky Dinks or whatever the hell kids are into nowadays.
A kid just wouldn't be a good fit as a trolley conductor is all I'm trying to say.
And here is the rest of it.
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