What's in a name?

A list of the most popular baby names of the last century is finally out. Underneath the title of the list is says 'discover which American names have become more or less common'. Of course I read the entire list like I'm going to be surprised. Do you know who would be surprised by a list like this? Someone who died in 1920 and magically appears in 2008. "What do you mean Mildred is a funny name? I'm from 1920. Just wait till President Harding hears about this!" (he knew the president).



I bet girls named Mildred had this mean little ditty sang to them a lot on the playground

Mildred, Mildred
you're so stupid

Mildred, Mildred
she eats her boogers

Mildred, Mildred
her vagina was installed backwards

Just thinking about that makes me cry.

Of course Zane was nowhere to be found on the list. They never have Zane pencils or small license plates at the store. This has never bothered me though. I like my name. My name could have been Dr. Fart Sniffer. If someone ever came up with a least popular baby name list I bet Dr. Fart Sniffer would be near the top. I think if your parents name you Doctor then you should be able to practice medicine.



Forgetting someones name is a real bitch. When I have to ask someone for their name again I always tell them that I'm a face person. "I never forget a face, but names just don't stick with me for some reason." That's what I always say but it's complete bullshit. I'm too self absorbed to look someone in the face long enough to remember it. Why take up valuable brain space remembering someones ugly puss? Most people are really ugly.