Small Town Rhymes With Asshole

Residents of a small Massachusetts town are getting all anal over the fact that their home reminds people of assholes.

The town of Athol, Massachusetts has a population of roughly 11,500 assholes, all of which had a stick up their ath over an ad ran by Comcast Sports making a mockery of their home's name.

"It's not funny," said angered citizen Harold Asswad. "It's not even pronounced like that other word. People just assume certain words are pronounced one way, when they're pronounced a completely different way."

The ad ran by Comcast Sports simply said "We can pronounce Worcester...without sounding like an Athol."

"It's insulting," Mayor Richard D. Ickwad proclaimed. "We're sick and tired of being the butt of so many jokes."

Comcast has pulled the ad and sworn never to run it again after an angry letter from the whiny town.

"Whatever. If they wanna be athols about it, let them be athols," Comcast President Skip Skipman said. "I don't need this shit."

The most upsetting fact to residents is that the correct pronunciation doesn't even rhyme with asshole. Saying it correctly would cause it to rhyme with asshawl. Close enough.

Another insult to the name that residents suggest is adding an 'r' at the beginning and an 'e' at the end to create 'rathole.' They also say they're perfectly fine with Pussyvile, Stickupourbuttville or Wecan'ttakeajokeopolis.

"I didn't mind the ad," said local housewife Susan Applebottom. "I'd rather have an ad like that than have the town invaded by rapists. Then I'd get upset."