Swan Stops Fucking Fake Swan, Starts Fucking Real Swan

It seems like there's not nearly enough hot swan action in the news nowadays. Until today.

Petra, a black German swan named after a shitty christian rock band, became a local celebrity years ago after starting an affair with a boat shaped as a giant white swan. Sadly, that love story is coming to an end.

Petra met somebody else over the winter, a white swan named Stryper. It wasn't until this week that Petra broke the news to the big fake swan.

"It's heartbreaking," the Swan shaped boat said. "You think you know somebody, then it turns out you don't know them at all."

Petra and Stryper are wasting no time starting their new life together. They've already moved in together into a brand new nest.

"We're so excited," Petra exclaimed with his new hussy by his side. "We don't see any need to wait. This part of our life was such a long time in the making."

The new relationship isn't the only news in Petra's life though.

"We're pregnant with our first of many children to come," Stryper said while smiling lovingly at Petra while holding wings. "And it's a boy!!"

"It's so wonderful," Petra added. "Just looking at her and knowing that little Jeremy Camp is growing inside her as we speak."

Things aren't as wonderful for the swan shaped boat, who plans on returning to it's abusive ex-lover by Thursday.